CORONAVIRUS 2020 - PANIC BUYING

“Fit’s goin’ on?” Sandy asked Jeannie
“Theres nae toilet rolls tae be had
Somebody’s been in and bought up the lot
Some folks are really quite sad”

“Fit will we de faun we need tae poop
Nae paper ta mak wirsels clean
Sma’ squares o’ newspaper’s fit we’ll hiv tae use
I’m sure that will get the job deen”

“Ir’s nae pasta, nor breed, the fruit is all gone
There’s nae even a tattie tae buy
Nae tomata’s, nae lettuce, nae greens
Ye’ ken it wid just mak ye cry”

“Fa’s bocht a’ this stuff, dae they ken fit they’ve deen?
There’s nithin’ they’ve left on the shelves
They never thocht. Fit old folk wid do
And how they would all feed themselves”

“The beer is a’ selt, the wine’s gone as weel
The freezers are bare as a stripper
We canna buy onything, here fir wir tea
We’re gonna hiv tae ging in by the chipper”

As he was aboot tae ging oot the store
He stoppit at the news stand
“I’ll hae the lot” he told the sales girl
“Iam nae gonna be wiping by hand”

In the car park the assistant was tidying up
And had a snake of aboot thirty trolleys
“I dinna believe what I hiv just seen
noo that’s panic buying – the wally”